NOT

     My self, it's enough for me to know, focus on yourself, stop approaching, I know what you think I also know what you want just enough to be here, you said I was afraid, FEAR? , a word that sounds familiar to me, afraid that it is human to me is like an angel of death who is always there and beside me, maybe you think I'm joking, that's not a possibility, that's a bitter reality for me.You say "I know you the best", how sure are you? Is it certain that humans can judge what is in the hearts of other humans? the human tongue can only speak words so disgusting, please what is that ?, stop right now, if you know me, surely you will not try"What are we trying?" in my heart that can no longer love, feelings that are difficult to feel, and the mind that always thinks of all the best alibis to avoid this kind of incident, is really disgusting. "Try to believe me, I'm not the same as the person who used to hurt me", God please get him out of my sight, I don't want anymore.That sentence is enough to open an empty chest that I have closed tightly, this feeling is chaotic, a mouth that has stuttered, made helpless by his words, why ???, you are getting more annoying, make me messy just by looking at the eyes that Very focused on me, please don't do this, I'm really giving up.I walked away from the conversation that made me helpless, without a word you let me move from the chair that tied us up painfully, I tried to quickly get away from this situation but time was slowing down, the people around were like a decoration that was just silent as if I was the only one. can move, what other situation is this, I took a deep breath and tried to be more calm.I trembled, trembling like wood hit by thunder, my breath was gasping, I was being chased by time but I didn't move quickly as if I had committed a crime and was being chased by law enforcement, am I the one who was guilty of the incident, or was it just a feeling stored. For you, I hope you don't think about me anymore, try to forget about me, I will get out of your sight if we cross paths, I won’t even come close to your shadow, believe me this is better for you and me.I'm sleepy, wake up, want to go to sleep again, something is bothering me, something that is worse than evil is a bad memory. Waking up from sleep with a bad feeling is an experience that I really don't want to accept, let alone keep repeating, help me, forgive me, anyone who can get rid of these memories I am willing to give anything including what is most precious to me, whether it is treasure, time, love?, if you think about it means you still have a bond with this mortal world, do you know what is more precious than that?Would you like to help me get rid of it, even if you want, I'm also not sure you will be able to survive the process, it's useless.